By: Postulant Erin
“Behold I am the handmaid of the Lord. Be it done unto me according to Thy Word.” This is Our Lady’s fiat - her total surrender to the Will of her Heavenly Father. These are the words I adopted as the desire to give my life to Christ deepened within my heart. I remember praying with the Annunciation during the summer after I finished high school and finding great excitement at the thought of echoing Mary’s fiat and bringing Christ into the world. It was so incredible a thought to me that I could do that too! I could give myself to the Father and bring Him to the world! I didn’t realize that this prayer could get any more profound than it felt to me at that time, but the Lord continued to expand my heart to receive more and more from this place in Scripture. The Annunciation has stuck with me, and new truths are brought up in my heart and mind every time I dive into it.
Sometimes, I go straight to the birth and childhood of Jesus when I think of Mary’s “yes”. I think of Christmas, of her bearing the Savior to the world, of her laying Him in a manger instead of holding Him in her arms, a sign of her total gift of Him to the world and to His mission. And because of the beauty found in the birth of Jesus, I tend to skip straight from the Annunciation to Christmas. But those words spoken by Mary to the Angel Gabriel marked the beginning of those precious 9 months where the Word of God was formed in her very self, and she waited for his birth. And this is exactly where she draws me in right now. Those words of surrender marked the beginning of Mary’s Advent. Just imagine it. Perhaps it is a rainy day and you are doing your chores or praying or preparing for a meal. An angel appears to you and asks of you a favor for God that will change not only your whole life, but the course of human history. And though you say yes in fear and trembling, you are also filled with great peace and awe in the magnificence of God. And then the angel departs. And you go outside. And even though the Spirit of the Most High has overshadowed you and Divine Life has taken His place in your very womb, nothing around you is any different. It is still raining. And the rain mingles with your tears of love as they stream down your face. All you can do is trust.
How beautiful to think of the tender moments throughout Mary’s pregnancy where she grew in love for her Baby, her God. I am sure that she saw the world through the eyes of the One being formed within her. Everything she did was oriented towards Him. Everything she did was preparing for the birth of this Baby King. She was filled with Divine Life as He formed eyes, ears, hands, heart. And He was formed of her very life! Her wonder in the created world must have been heightened as she pondered what it would be like for Jesus to experience everything for the first time. But she also had to embrace the silence of the season. She had to trust wholeheartedly that it was truly God made Man being formed within her without being able to see Him. She had to wait, to work, to live normal moments of everyday life as Divine Life formed within her silently and slowly.
This Advent is a beautiful opportunity to enter into Mary’s own Advent. We can be in the silence with her, trusting that Jesus is forming Himself in our hearts and in our whole beings as we await His coming. We can ask the Lord to fill us with Divine Life and let our Savior be formed within us- eyes, ears, hands, heart. He invites us to be patient, trusting His timing as He clothes our hearts with Himself. Oh, Jesus, fill our hearts with Your Divine Life! Give our hearts the grace to rest in the Advent, to find peace in the silence, and to trust in Your desire to be formed of our lives. Increase our excitement to see You when You come again and be formed in us that we might bear You to the world. Amen.